I guess before I talk about the onward journey and the now, I should really tell you about what happened to get here!
We started trying for a baby in May 2011. And within weeks I was pregnant! I couldn’t believe it! I really thought it would take a few months, but there I was a few weeks later with a life inside me!
I felt very strange throughout the limited time of the pregnancy. I didn’t want to let myself get excited, felt funny about people knowing and started to prepare myself for telling people the worst after the scan rather than the great news. Strange how your body just knows.
I did experience some slight bleeding through the early weeks, but nothing particularly heavy or with any pain attached to suggest it was anything out of the ordinary. I don’t want to scare anyone who has had bleeding in early weeks, so just to add I had a little bleeding for a couple of days at around 6 weeks in this pregnancy too.
We made it to the 12 week stage and went for the scan. The experience wasn’t a good one!
The sonographer didn’t show us the baby at all. Instead he said that there was a possibility my dates were wrong as I was showing as a 6 week pregnancy on the scan. I knew instantly that my dates weren’t that wrong, as I’d found out I was pregnant 6 weeks earlier, and that something was definitely up. It was horrible. He tried to reassure me and said they’d book me in for another scan as sometimes you can’t trace a heartbeat until after 7 weeks. He also told me of the alternative – that the pregnancy didn’t progress beyond 6 weeks. I knew instantly that was the case.
I spent the rest of the day crying on the sofa and, despite having spent 6 weeks ‘knowing’ something was up, felt absolutely distraught.
That same night, I was delivering a webinar (a seminar delivered over the internet) to people in Spain, France, Iceland and the UK, when I felt the bleeding start. I ignored it and carried on, but knew straight away that I was losing it.
The bleeding got progressively worse until I was struggling to stand, and so we headed to A&E. I ended up spending 2 nights in hospital. The first due to the blood loss, the second as not all of the ‘products’ had come away with the bleed. I was given tablets to induce the loss of what was left, which wasn’t the nicest of experiences! Contractions at that stage really don’t have a happy end result! Then when they didn’t work, I was taken for what used to be known as a D&C, now known as an ERPC (evacuation of the retained products of conception). This is essentially a cleaning out of the womb under general anaesthetic.
All in all, not the nicest of experiences in the start of our path to becoming parents!
I really thought I’d get pregnant again straight away, but it didn’t really work out like that! It definitely got me down, and of course you then slip in to it becoming all you can think about. It felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant. It was definitely a tough year for me!
But to speed up this sorry tale…I obviously did end up getting pregnant without any medical help or intervention! We had just bought our first house and I found out I was pregnant a week after we moved in! Perfect timing (a little too late though to use as an excuse to not help with any heavy lifting! Damn!!). We’d been at a party on the Saturday and I was violently sick after only a few drinks! Not like me at all! The next day I couldn’t get out of bed, I felt so ill. And the ‘hangover’ continued into Monday. I thought it was strange, and it was hubby that suggested I could be pregnant! Having had late periods since the miscarriage, and taking a pregnancy test every time, I hadn’t even thought about my period being late, with moving in to the house being a big distraction! So, I took a test, preparing myself again for the negative result. I was shaking when I saw that second line appear!!!!
Just like the way last time I ‘knew’ something was wrong, this time I ‘knew’ everything was right!! And it was!
So, sorry if that story was a little on the depressive side, but the ending is a happy one like any good story! And now you know how I got here, we can focus on the important stuff, like vomit, nipples, kicks and bumps!
I’d love to hear your views, comments and experiences! Just stick them in the comments box below!!