I remember in my first year at uni, lots of the parents of students I met separated not long after they went off to uni. It struck me that some parents couldn’t remember how to be in a relationship with each other without their children around. Their relationship had become so focused on their children, that there was nothing left without the kids there.
Me and Sean have a brilliant relationship. One that feels effortless, and yet we both put work and commitment in to without thinking about it. And one that has changed a lot since having children.
Our girls have definitely given us another means to bond us together. But in other ways, they have taken away part of what always made mine and Sean’s relationship so special.
We’ve been best friends near enough since we first met. We spent many of our 7 years pre-kids in a pub together, drinking, laughing and having so much fun.
Fast forward to 9 years and two kids later, and spending Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday afternoon in the pub is no longer an option! I don’t think I could do that any more anyway to be honest. My body can’t handle drink like it used to be able to. And I don’t want to do it either! I love spending time together as a family at the weekend.
But we definitely miss those days of just being us two.
And so, we’ve made a commitment. I want our relationship together as just us two to be as important as our family relationship of us as a four.
We now have a babysitter who comes one week night every other week. I know there’ll be lots of times we’ve had busy days and can’t be bothered. But then the babysitter will arrive, and we’ll have to head out and will feel so much better for it.
Sometimes we’ll go for a walk, ending at the pub for a couple of drinks. We might go for dinner the odd time. We might go out with friends now and again. I’m hoping each time we’ll make the effort to do something different. It’s something both of us can look forward to. And it gives us the opportunity to chat and be us two, Sam and Sean, rather than Ella and Sienna’s mum and dad.