career guilt

Career vs. SAHM – When Will the Guilt Go?

The guilt.  It’s something every mum is well aware of.  Whether it’s the guilt of letting our children eat sweets, the guilt of shouting at them through lack of our own patience, or the guilt of not being there when they need us.  It seems to be unavoidable.

I think there’s one guilt that particularly weighs on me.  And it’s a weird one.  Because actually, the guilt doesn’t really lie in my parenting.  It lies in what I could be doing otherwise.

Let me explain…

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2016 Goals

My Goals for 2016 – Finding Contentment

I’m not really a one for ‘resolutions’ as such.  But I do love the opportunity that a new year represents.  A chance to maybe do things a little differently, or continue with things that have worked well in the previous year.  It gives us chance to reflect on our lives and highlight areas that, in improving, might make us more content.

I think that is what my goals for this year are focused on – contentment.  I have never really suffered with anxiety before the last year, and it is horrible!  I want to shake it, and feel content and peaceful.  I know it’s a big ask, but if I can start to make little steps towards that, then that’s better than nothing.

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Turning Thirty!

So today I turn 30!!

I didn’t really know how I’d feel about turning 30, but really I feel like it’s just another birthday, taking me a year on in my life!  And I’m definitely looking forward to what my thirties have in store for me!

My twenties have been pretty damn good!  I guess going in to the next decade is a reason to reflect on the one before.  So, here goes…!!

I’m not really someone who has their life planned out.  I’m more of a ‘go with the flow’ type.  I didn’t have any expectations of where I would be by the end of my twenties.  I would have suspected that I would have at least one child, maybe two, so not too far off the mark, with number two due in a matter of weeks.

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Slowing Down

I work for myself.  Which, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love!  I can’t imagine having it any other way for the foreseeable anyway!  It allows me a brilliant balance between my career and being a mum, and means I can earn a decent wage while only working 2-3 days a week.

But, it does offer its challenges.

I deliver social media training to businesses.  Training delivery tends to mean being stood for the duration of the session (often full days).  I just find it really hard to maintain control of a room sat down, and often the room layout means if I sat down to deliver, there’d be people who wouldn’t be able to see me or I wouldn’t be able to see the screen.

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Struggling With Working From Home

I only work two days a week.  I really shouldn’t moan!  My 2 day a week job is training businesses in using social media through my own business, Sam Flynn Social Media.

I love it, I really do.  Especially the training bit, going out meeting new people, coming up with ideas for different businesses.

The bit I’m struggling with at the moment is working from home.  I’ve done it for ages.  I’ve been working for myself for 5 and a half years now and had an office for 1 year of this, ending the lease when I started maternity leave with Ella.  So, I’m well accustomed to working from home.  I usually have so much to do, I have to just crack on.  Especially since having Ella and only working 2 days a week.  I can do a flow of weeks where both days are spent out delivering training, so when I do get a day ‘in the office’, there’s tons to do!

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Two Twitter Accounts

Running my own social media training business, I’ve already got a good following on my business social media account (@_SamFlynn) of nearly 8.5k.  When setting up Life of Mum, I also created a separate Twitter account devoted solely to the blog.  I built it up and tweeted blog links and the odd ramble now and again.

But I found it really hard to manage two separate accounts.  I found I just wasn’t posting on Life of Mum anywhere near enough.  And I had to build up a following from scratch.  So, I decided to get rid and just promote my mum blog through my main Twitter account, and hopefully bring some new readers in, and give my customers and contacts more of an insight in to my life, where they could get to know me!

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My Big Respect for SAHMs

I’m so lucky to be able to spend 5 days a week with Ella.  But do I ever need those 2 working days!!

I was very much driven to start my own business so I could be in the position I am now, being a mum the majority of the time, but also being able to have a career.

Now I’ve been balancing the two for the past year, I’ve realised how perfectly it works for me!  I absolutely love my days with Ella.  I just can’t imagine now working full time and not getting to spend as much time with her.  It’s great to be able to take her to playgroups, to help her learn and develop and to build our bond together.

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The Year That Was…2014!!

This is going to be my last post of the year, as we’re packing up to head to the Isle of Man tonight for the festive period!

So, I thought I’d end the year with a bit of recap of what went on!

I’ve just had a quick look back at how the year started with the posts on my blog.  It’s crazy to see how Ella has turned from a baby in to a toddler this year.  Last Christmas, I was still technically in maternity leave.  Sounds crazy when I think I’ll be back on it in a few months!

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Missing My Sidekick

Since Ella’s birth, she’s definitely become my sidekick.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve been away from her.  In her first 14.5 months, I’ve been on 3 hen dos away!  Plus a weekend away from her for a wedding.  And the odd night here and there too.

I generally work 2 days a week and spend the other 5 with Ella.  I’m so lucky to be able to do this and manage my time by working for myself.

This week, that’s gone up to 3 days.  This is the 3rd day (I’ve just completed running a training session as I write this) and I miss her sooo much!

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Grateful for the help you have

My mother-in-law goes in for a knee replacement next week.  I’m made up for her that she’s having it done, and that, after recovery, life will be much easier and hopefully less painful for her.

So, from mid-September, when we get back from our holiday, Ella will be going to nursery on a Thursday, as well as her usual Tuesday.  Usually she spends the day with her nanna on a Thursday, but this won’t be possible for some time.

I’m so so grateful to have help close by.  My family live in the Isle of Man.  They are a fantastic help, even from such a distance!  I’ve regularly asked my mum to combine her visits with times I have work on in far away locations, and on non-nursery days, that require help from Ella waking to going to bed!  And my sister and bro-in-law have also come over to stay with Ella while we’ve been away at a wedding.

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