My dear, sweet and beautiful Sienna,
I wish I could take it away. I wish I could make you better. I wish you never had to suffer.
But that’s life. We are humans. We suffer illness. You don’t know it yet, but it will make you stronger.
You’ve had a tough week. We’ve moved house. The environment that was so familiar to you has changed. I think you’ll love it here, but you’ve not really had chance yet to relax in to it and explore.
You’ve had a poorly tummy. You’ve brought whole bottles up, quite spectacularly. And when you have managed to keep your bottles down, you’ve lost it in the other direction. And that has been pretty spectacular at times too. You’ve got through so many vests and sleepsuits that our washing machine can’t keep up.
You’ve wanted your mummy. Of course you have. You feel poorly and you just want a cuddle. And I’ve tried to give myself to you as much as I possibly can. But having just moved house, there is other things that need doing. Lots of other things. But of course, you come first. I’m sorry that I couldn’t just sit with you on my knee all day giving you reassuring cuddles. And letting you drift off to sleep in my arms.
I’m sorry that your eyes are poorly too. They are raw from all the washing they’ve had to remove them of their illness. I know you hate having your eyes cleaned, but it will make them better and you’ll thank me at some point later when you realise that, I’m sure. I don’t intend to put you through things you hate, but I can’t leave you with sticky uncomfortable eyes.
I’m sorry you can’t sleep and feel tired all the time. I’m sorry if I get cranky with you. Lack of sleep will do that and I know you get a bit cranky too when you’ve not had enough.
It’s been lovely to hear you start to feel a little better. To giggle a little more and for that beautiful smile to start returning to your face. I know you’re over the worse. That you’re on the mend. But you still need me, want me, at all hours, and I’ll be here.
I just wish I could take it away. To suffer it instead. But I can’t, and so instead I will be here. The jobs can wait, but my baby can’t.
Get well soon my little one.