Siblings (October ’16)

I feel that in a lot of ways, the relationship between Ella and Sienna hasn’t really changed that much since Sienna was a tiny baby.  They both love each other immensely.  Like some crazy bond, that only blood can bring.  They really are a unit.  It’s not just about time spent together.  There’s something more to it than that.  Some primal need to be near each other, but just far enough away too!

One thing that hasn’t really changed in any of my siblings posts since Sienna was born, is how we need to constantly remind Ella to be gentle with her.  I thought at first it was about Ella learning the fragility of a baby, when she was really only one herself, still being 1 when Sienna was born.  But it really hasn’t changed.  She’s still rough with her!  So, I wonder if it is actually just Ella’s nature.  She loves her so fiercely that she wants to squeeze her and squeeze her and squeeze her.  To the point where she isn’t really hearing Sienna’s cries to be released, that escalate and escalate.  If I’m in another room and can hear Sienna crying, I can almost guarantee that it is because Ella has a grip of her!

I know Ella really just wants to cuddle Sienna.  That a gentle cuddle isn’t enough and that she loves her so much, she just wants that cuddle to be the biggest one ever.  She does the same to us.  But we are bigger and stronger to take those cuddles (and I absolutely love them!).  She’s not a half-hearted cuddler that’s for sure!

The result is that Sienna can sometimes cry when Ella even approaches her.  It depends on her mood.  If she’s teething, or poorly, she doesn’t want Ella near her, and will cry even if Ella has barely touched her.  It’s something we have to watch, as I don’t want to be constantly telling Ella off when in fact she hasn’t done anything wrong.  I feel like I’m forever asking Ella to get off Sienna, to leave her alone, to release her.  But I know Sienna will soon be old enough to tell Ella in her own certain terms that she doesn’t want that big bear hug!

Ella does sometimes realise though.  She’ll go to Sienna and plant the gentlest sweetest kiss on her cheek.  And Sienna has recently taken to sitting next to Ella on the sofa, and laying her head against her shoulder.  They’ll sit there snuggled up, watching Peppa Pig on the telly, or Ben and Holly on the iPad.  It’s so lovely to see.

And Ella’s absolutely favourite thing is making Sienna laugh.  It seems to happen most in the bath.  A time where there’s no screens around, no toys to fight over.  Just the two of them (and me watching of course!), giggling over who knows what!  Last night, the two of them were chatting away, and Sienna suddenly sprayed one of the squirty toys.  The laughter was immense.  I really wish I could bottle that sound, and release it to them when they’re being moody teenagers.  I really do think there’s no greater sound in life than your children’s laughter.  It makes up for all the shouting and tear and tantrums instantly.

Every month I talk about the gap shortening.  And once again, it is seeming so much smaller than it ever has.  They have a way of communicating.  A shared routine.  A desire to do the same things, and to do them together.  To run around together, dance together, follow each other round.  They sit at the same little table to eat their breakfast.  They sit on the bottom step side-by-side to get their shoes on to walk Ella to preschool.  They want to eat the same snacks, with the same cutlery, from the same coloured bowls.  And Ella always asks if I can do Sienna’s hair the same way she has hers.

And they are *almost* at the point of really playing together.  They do it a little, and they are definitely company for each other.  But I do think that their relationship will blossom even more when Sienna can talk and they can have crazy chats with each other, and make up games, dance routines and shows for us.  I can see them being a unit together forever.  I know they’ll accept another in, if we are blessed in giving them another sibling at some point in the future.  But they’ll always have that special bond reserved for just the two of them.

I really need to get up to speed on how to shoot action pictures on my camera.  I’m finding it harder and harder to take pictures of the two of them together sat still.  If they are cuddling, they are moving side-to-side at the same time.  If they’re on their feet, they’re running around.  But that’s their relationship.  No time to sit still for pictures.  Lots more important stuff to get on with in life!

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